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Nobody dreams of being the Third Wife. When you marry for the first time, youre full of hopes and dreams for long-term marriage relationship, the whole shebang, including a 50th wedding anniversary and all that includes. If that relationship blows up in smoke and disaster, the average person may actually still have enough persistence to try again And still have some hope left.

When the second relationship turns to ashes, the phoenix may not reappear as a standard of hope, but an avoidance of doom. The fear of growing old alone may pound in your chest, it may keep you awake at night, and you may suffer great anxiety because of your own fears. And yet, the prospect of saying This is my third husband terrorizes your mind.

You look back at two failed marriages and think of the karma The weight of the world is on your shoulders. Gloom and doom shall follow you. Youre a looser! You cant even make a man happy. And you loose sight of the reality

The chances are good that your first marriage ended before it began. You and your spouse married young, without the necessary understanding of what marriage was all about. Your relationship started out a miracle and sunk into despair. Without proper tools to keep it alive, it died. Quickly on its heals someone promised you all the right things, said all the things you needed to hear, and you fell for the line. A second marriage solved all your current problems and you struggled to grasp and hold onto the dream.

Im not resolving you of any responsibility. That would be your choice and view.

Justification for your position appears on the horizon and you can see some semblance of hope reappearing in your life. You have another chance. A man in your life who just might be the one and you risk it. You take that step, one more time, risking your heart to yet another who might trample it into the dirt.

And you wonder - how to make it work.

As a single woman attempting to make it work a third time, trying to revive the hope of maybe, I searched for answers and found a simple page of ideas. Its even on a free site, a place where one might go just to express thoughts and hopes. http://www.freewebs.com/luckslec offered a bit of hope, a few suggestions, and a place to seek answers. Links to other helpful sites are there in the lineup, along with practical suggestions.

Then I wondered Is there hope?

Jan Verhoeff

Somewhere between college and life, Jan began to focus on other people. Her intense need to feel accomplishment in her life drove her to finding a deeper contentment than just existing in the hoot 'n holler of southeastern Colorado. While the beauty of the prairie never escaped her eye for color and beauty, the intensity of her desire kept her moving ever onward.

Summers in Michigan and Tennessee brought her closer to something, but it wasn't until much later, as an adult, mother of four that she began to understand that her need for accomplishment included sharing what she had learned along the way. It also meant that her talent for painting the dream and writing her thoughts had a lot to do with her accomplishments.

She began to focus on actually writing down her thoughts and ideas in journals, revealing her prayer thoughts and life events. Bits of paper became treasures of memory, and a notebook became an outlet of hope and a step of faith. Jan put her thoughts on paper, and began to publish them, where she found opportunity, including various magazines, trade journals, and local publications. Her interests in business and new enterprise became a resounding outlet for her talent, and wisdom for those who sought it. Jan's interest in business development became her trademark, resulting in her first book publication in !992, "Building a Business: From Scratch". This 22 page booklet was published by a local printer in a vertical brochure format, selling more than a thousand copies nation wide. It has resurfaced in college classes as the basis for college term papers, graduate thesis, and research documents for small business courses over the past 13 years.

Seeking more diverse outlets for her talents, Jan most recently has written several short stories published in various books, including: "Stories for the Trail" with the Lamar Writer's Group, "Prickly Points of Life" a combination poetry/short story collection of Jan's work, and "Coffee Clatter" a bound collection of written works originally published in a newsletter published by her daughter, Brenna, as a Sophomore Year Project when she was homeschooling at Buchanan Academy.

More recently her work is available in a newsletter she publishes weekly via email, and various blogs listed on the right side of this page.

You may contact Jan at: janverhoeff@yahoo.com