Some questions keep bugging me. For example, when I was five years old in 1937, what caused the blimp Hindenburg to explode terrifying that radio announcer at Amherst, New Jersey? (See the video at: http://www.vidicom-tv.com/tohiburg.htm) And when my dad was twelve years old in 1912, why didn't the Titanic hit the iceberg head-on and save the ship? (Go to: http://octopus.gma.org/space1/titanic.html to learn in short-form the details of the Titanic.) My main question is: When our firstborn son was 12 years old in 1969, where did the Man on No Name Moon hide during our lunar explorations starting July 20, 1969? (Go to: http://www.hq.nasa.gov/office/pao/History/ap11ann/introduction.htm to read about the 30th Anniversary of the first landing.) I heard a shuffling behind my chair. A girl's voice said, "They were stupid to use hydrogen." It was Xrytspet again. I said, "Scram, Xrytspet!" "Well, they were. They should have used helium." I said, "Xrytspet, they would have used helium if they had helium. I've figured that they made it 99.99988789% of the way across the Atlantic. Round that off and they made it!" "Tell that to the charred ashes of those who were in the 0.00012%." I try not to laugh when Xrytspet is serious. I said, "What caused the explosion; any analysis report from Fanton in G10009845788899990766?" She flashed her lovely yellow eyes and said, "On the Net?" "I'm always on the Internet when I'm writing. You know that, Xrytspet." "Let me get up to that keyboard." She pushed me aside and I plopped down into a pile of papers. She ignored my plight and typed a zillion miles an hour. I tried to catch the code, but I'm not a super speed camera. The screen went blank and the printer sent out a single sheet of paper. Before I could grab it, she hid it behind her back. She said, "It was a spark!" I said, "Give me that you little liar!" She laughed and handed it to me. It read: xpffpt swrivtllssswaa flgzzzrffphll English translation for Taylor Jones, the hack writer, "It was a spark!" signed Silzrack. I said, "What about the man on No Name Moon?" Xrytspet said, "What about the Titanic?" I said, "I know about the Titanic. If the captain had known that it would be disastrous to skim past that iceberg rather than hitting it head-on, that is exactly what he would have done." "He should have slowed when he got the iceberg reports." "We all know that, Xrytspet. The man on No Name Moon?" She said, "There is no man on No Name Moon. You are just a child!" At least she didn't call me an idiot like she usually did. I said, "My mother showed me the man on No Name Moon. Are you calling my mother a liar?" Xrytspet said, "Let's hop into the FnL7 Time Craft." That's when it dawned on me that Silzrack had signed the communication from Fanton in G10009845788899990766. The speed of light was nothing to these Fantonians. Xrytspet said, "It is surprising to an earthbound idiot." I said, "You don't have to read my mind and you don't have to call me an idiot." She said, "Oh! Was that you I was talking about?" The FnL7 Time Craft didn't puff the dust of No Name Moon but my feet did. For some reason I could not feel the heat and I could breath. I said, "Any reason why I'm not dead?" She said, "Tee Hee!" I said, "Are you going to answer my question?" "When you get into the FnL7 Time Craft you are turned into a robot. Robots don't feel heat or cold." "Last time you told me you were frozen when you traveled in space. So, where am I then, if I'm not here?" "Back on Earth writing that stupid article. See, there is nobody here on No Name Moon but us chickens!" CopyrightJohn T. Jones, Ph.D. 2005 |
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