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Maybe its my age or my distorted perception but anger seems to be much more rampant these days. Its effects have infiltrated families, communities, government and even our educational systems. More than anger, the proportions appear to have taken the forms of rage, hate, hostility, getting even and violence. As a former psychotherapist, I decided to obtain training as a mediator as well. I learned that the most difficult feat to engineer is to get people on opposite sides of an issue to sit across the table from one another in order to find a win-win solution to their differences so that resolution and not revolution might become the final outcome. The key factor, of course, is to be able to introduce the art of communication as a basic tool enabling this achievement.

As much as the differences between people may be cited as being the root cause of the anger being experiencedand the most evidentthere are also commonalities that bind the conflicting parties which are much more difficult to identify yet do exist nonetheless. Once those common elements can be identified through various steps provided for by the professional mediator, the process of resolution can become much more fluid and easier to achieve. Of course, the whole process is predicated on the fact that people can get past their angeralbeit justified in most casesin order to have their sense of rationality surface and become the common denominator allowing the process to become successful.

As a relatively new resident of Florida, my wife and I have been very impressed with the outgoing friendliness thats been displayed by people. Their willingness to help us become acclimated to Florida Living has been welcomed to say the least. However, recently we have also witnessed some intensive conflict as evidenced in some of the meetings held in the Community around importantly common issues. Personally, I am alarmed at what form these differences are taking and, more importantly, where and how they will culminate. My only hope is that reasonability and resolution will be the mainstay methods that will ultimately be employed instead of ANGER ON THE MOVE.

As a Community, we have demonstrated the good will of our people in many different ways. The most obvious is the manner in which we have stepped up to the plate in helping those much less fortunate than ourselves who were victimized by Hurricane Charley. The outpouring of help and support was truly remarkable and took many different forms for many of us. Just as there was no question about whether we should or shouldnt help, there should be no question about resolving the concerns and differences that we are experiencing as well. It is in that sense that our Community will grow and prosper and our reputation will follow us because of the early settlers ability to make it work instead of utilizing the methods of search and destroy.

Charles Bonasera

Charles M. Bonasera had been a practicing psychotherapist since 1962 and has served as a Consultant, Mediator, Author and Workshop Presenter since 2003. Based on years of extensive research he became a Stress Management expert and founded/ directed the Stress Management Center which evaluated and treated stress-related problems. As President of Personal Identity Controls, he developed and produced a number of interactive materials on various stress-related topics to enable people to take greater control their lives.Charles produced the CD/workbook entitled ?Guide To A Life Management Process? which helps people recognize and manage their stress more effectively. His Workshops and consultations with businesses, corporations and schools, stresses the recognition that our greatest resource is people and treating them with dignity and respect promotes productivity. His role as a keynote speaker mixes his professional wisdom with practical solutions and a sense of humor.

Based on his previous experience as an evaluator of learning disabilities, he began rendering Workshops to school districts in 1995. His goal was to help educators recognize the importance of incorporating principles of mental health in the classroom. His Workshop and Consulting roles dealt with issues such as anger and stress management, developing reasonable expectations, belligerent behavior, case study workshops, parent-teacher relationships, reducing anxiety to facilitate the learning process, problem solving techniques and the practical components of healthy, happy relationships. Many of these same topics were incorporated into general audience workshops as well.

Charles? methods center around helping people develop ?alternative ways to happiness.? His problem-solving techniques are practical and interactive enabling people to make their own choices in their own individual style and time-frame.. His approach clearly embodies the philosophy that ?the greatest learning we experience is when we don?t know we?re learning and are having fun? and that learning is both an intellectual and emotional process.