I was sitting with Casey in a coffee shop as she struggled to hold back tears. She was desperately trying to figure out how she was going to tell her husband. Her younger sister Amy, who had been in a very physically abusive relationship had decided to leave her boyfriend about six months earlier. Cacey and her husband emptied their savings account so Casey could fly across the country and help get Amy relocated to back to their home state. They set her up in a condo and got her back on her feet. Amy had walked a couple of times before and had always gone back to him. However, Cacey thought that by moving her across the country Amy would stay away from him for good. This morning Cacey had got a phone call from Amy. Amy was at the airport, on her way back to Florida, back to him, again... If we were nothing but souls we would say to each other, I'll love you and you can love me and that's what we will do for each other. However, unfortunately we are walking around in bodies, bound by ego, and sometimes what we say to each other is much different. Sometimes, it seems more like, Help me play out my dramas, watch me hurt other people and hurt myself, tell me it's OK, to prove to me you love me. The greatest gift you can give another person is your unconditional love. But sometimes, the hardest lesson of love to learn is that love and judgment cannot live in the same place. When you are trying to love someone, but being a part of their life, or their drama causes you to judge them, right or wrong, or are no longer really loving them and sometimes you simply have to step away from them to offer them your gift, your unconditional love. Sometimes you have to love the people you love the most from a distance. From a vibrational, feel good place, love is always the better choice. In the spirit of Aloha, to love it to be happy with. Being happy is a feel good place and feeling good always leaves us energized. When we are interacting with anyone that we are judging poorly, love has simply gone away. When that someone is a soul that we are deeply attached to detaching is a frightening proposition. However, if we are to continue to love, sometimes it's the only path. Fast forward six months. Cacey got her first phone call from Amy since she'd left. She called me and asked me to meet her for coffee. Amy had gotten a job in Florida immediately upon returning working for a marine broker. Trying to be smarter then before, she'd saved money just in case. Amy was flying back in on Tuesday. What do you think will be different about this time? I asked. Cacey smiled softly as she pulled out paint sample sheets from her purse. They were pink and blue. He's in jail. She decided she wouldn't let him hurt the baby. She's coming home. We are painting a nursery this weekend. Greg is excited to see her. Cacey was able step back and love Amy with all her heart without putting herself in a place where she knew she would judge her. Cacey did not allow herself to get back into the drama, but she didnt love her any less. Cacey did not allude to Amy she supported her bad decision making any longer. She simply stepped away~she got really peaceful about it. Cacey stopped taking her anti-anxiety medication and got over her ulcer. Even without Cacey there Amy knew how much she was loved. Even from a distance she felt it. When she was ready she knew the unconditional love would be there for her. And that's what it's all about.... Aloha. www.moderngirlsguidetozen.com |
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